Well... I'm not really gonna list 10 things but I will start with a few...well, I'm gonna just write, okay?
A couple weeks ago I read a very interesting article where the writer(might I state he was male) equated the Twilight series to what porn is for men. And this revved me up... It was the final hater straw that broke this Brooklyn chick camel's back.
I've listened to many a diatribe of not just dislike but pure hatred for the Twilight series for a couple years now. And I must admit, that I used to be one of those people...one of those who thought "what the heck is this mess?" "why are there waify, pre-teen white girls crying at the sight of a billboard announcing the premiere of the first Twilight movie release?"
It seemed like the dumbest thing ever...vampires, falling in love with non vampires...werewolves...Who reads/watches this stuff?! Pshaw! (... so said the jaded Buffy fan who could quote even Xander's lines...but hey..the 90s and Joss Whedon is on a whole 'nother level.)
Then one day... Something happened... I got my heart broken for the first time. And as I lay catatonic on the couch thinking it was all a bad dream and wondering how did I stumble into the pool of idiocy that made me think douchey-mcdoucherson was a good guy who loved me... My mom said to me" You should read the Twilight books"
Now let me just say that my mom is and has always been an avid reader. She consumes books likes college kids consume beer and Redbulls. No, but, seriously, she can finish an entire book over a single shot of espresso. While I was very aware that she tends to have great taste in literature, I was pretty sure she must have fallen and bumped her head before making this suggestion.
I replied with a quiet, sulking scoff and some retort like" No thank you, I'm just gonna finish The Unbearable Lightness of Being real quick" and drown my sorrows in country music videos.
But after her continually telling me about the book and characters, I finally picked up the the first book in the series. I laughed looking at the shiny cheesy black and burgundy cover and prayed that none of my friends would catch me in the act... The act of twilighting...
I flipped open the book, read the first couple sentences...and was hooked... I was transitioning... No not into a pasty vampire(wait... Since black folks can't really be pasty, would we just be ashy as vampires..I mean Laurent wasn't really pasty or ashy in the movies.. I'm just curious)
Anyway, I was becoming a "twi-hard"
(might I also add, that is the most ridiculous wordage for a fan description ever. I prefer to refer to myself as a twi-fan)
I loved the books. Each one. Each chapter. Each character. Even Stephanie Meyers writing style.
Which people totally dog on, but HELLO... These are fictional books about vampires written for young adults, the chick wasn't trying to be the next Tolstoy. And might I also add that Meyers, who catches a lot of grief is also very much responsible for bringing one of the best rock bands of the last 15 years into some much deserved recognition (and money)-and all the band members of Muse say..'thanks Steph'
I digress, I digress...back to the point.
In the second book, New Moon, after Edward has totally demolished Bella's heart by pretty much telling her he doesnt love her and running off(wait, y'all! He does it for a good reason) Stephanie describes Bella as feeling like " a huge hole had been punched through my chest, excising my most vital organs and leaving ragged, unhealed gashes around the edges that continued to throb and bleed despite the passage of time." It was exactly the way I felt. And the more I read and followed the characters the more I stopped following, well chasing my own heartbreak and sadness. She was totally capturing and articulating how I felt in a way that I couldn't describe to even my closest friends.
The chapters that follow this break-up between Edward and Bella, are some of the most beautiful, poignant, and truthful things I've ever read. The next pages of the book, written from Bella's perspective consisted of blank pages that listed the months. October, November, December, January... For every month, there was just another blank page. It was her life as she was experiencing it, well, more like just sleepwalking through it.
I turned to those pages... And literally wept. Sobbed out loud in a way that I hadn't about that break-up before. Sobbed in a way that I hadn't in years. I'm not a crier.(I only cry at church and movies)
But somehow Meyers so perfectly captured that feeling, that immediate aftershock of a true heartbreak. And it was beyond cathartic. It helped me heal.
So yeah... Maybe in this way, someone would look at it and say... "so it's chick porn". A fantasy of love and men(well...kinda men) to lose yourself in for a few moments.
I flipped open the book, read the first couple sentences...and was hooked... I was transitioning... No not into a pasty vampire(wait... Since black folks can't really be pasty, would we just be ashy as vampires..I mean Laurent wasn't really pasty or ashy in the movies.. I'm just curious)
Anyway, I was becoming a "twi-hard"
(might I also add, that is the most ridiculous wordage for a fan description ever. I prefer to refer to myself as a twi-fan)
I loved the books. Each one. Each chapter. Each character. Even Stephanie Meyers writing style.
Which people totally dog on, but HELLO... These are fictional books about vampires written for young adults, the chick wasn't trying to be the next Tolstoy. And might I also add that Meyers, who catches a lot of grief is also very much responsible for bringing one of the best rock bands of the last 15 years into some much deserved recognition (and money)-and all the band members of Muse say..'thanks Steph'
I digress, I digress...back to the point.
In the second book, New Moon, after Edward has totally demolished Bella's heart by pretty much telling her he doesnt love her and running off(wait, y'all! He does it for a good reason) Stephanie describes Bella as feeling like " a huge hole had been punched through my chest, excising my most vital organs and leaving ragged, unhealed gashes around the edges that continued to throb and bleed despite the passage of time." It was exactly the way I felt. And the more I read and followed the characters the more I stopped following, well chasing my own heartbreak and sadness. She was totally capturing and articulating how I felt in a way that I couldn't describe to even my closest friends.
The chapters that follow this break-up between Edward and Bella, are some of the most beautiful, poignant, and truthful things I've ever read. The next pages of the book, written from Bella's perspective consisted of blank pages that listed the months. October, November, December, January... For every month, there was just another blank page. It was her life as she was experiencing it, well, more like just sleepwalking through it.
I turned to those pages... And literally wept. Sobbed out loud in a way that I hadn't about that break-up before. Sobbed in a way that I hadn't in years. I'm not a crier.(I only cry at church and movies)
But somehow Meyers so perfectly captured that feeling, that immediate aftershock of a true heartbreak. And it was beyond cathartic. It helped me heal.
So yeah... Maybe in this way, someone would look at it and say... "so it's chick porn". A fantasy of love and men(well...kinda men) to lose yourself in for a few moments.
But I don't see it that way. At a friend's dinner party once, I talked with a young woman who was ranting about the Twilight phenomenon and her argument was that it wasn't "Reality. Men aren't like that! And what are we teaching our young women? That these are what real guys are like- and they like bite you and stuff"
I took a second and let the woman finish. Then politely asked her "Have you read the books?"
Her answer, as is most people who have a staunch distaste/hatred for Twilight, was "No."
I responded with a very loaded "hmm". Then let it breathe for a minute. And then began to explain why I, a college educated(graduated with honors double major y'all!), driven, intelligent, subtely witty, black woman in her late twenties loves the series.
See, everyday I wake up and turn on my tv, or open up my web browser and hear that a woman has been murdered by her ex-boyfriend. That a woman is on trial for shooting her husband who abused her for over 18 years, that an angry, pissed off ex has taken his baby daughter from her mother, and tossed the small child over a bridge. Every day. If you dont believe me, I dare you to turn on your local news. Every day I hear young teenage girls on the subway quoting the most ridiculous, heinous, not even that clever lyrics to some misogynistic song by the latest, hottest musical act(who-might I add-is such a hot mess, that were it not for money and some gold or diamond studded teeth, could not even begin to pull even the most hot messiest of hood rats). I see movie posters of drunken, frat boy idiot characters smiling and winking with two half naked, Photoshop enhanced girls with their faces cut off in the margin clogging the subway tunnel walls. And I think to myself... "So this is it? This is who we are? This is what we're allowing our daughters, and sisters and mothers to think about themselves? This is what our "value" is? Nothing. Undeserving, a side-note, an object, a possession.
The thought of this massacres me. And yes, I'm well aware of how far we've come. And i think it's beyond brilliant. But it feels like we've missed something along the way. And I won't blame it all on the men, this isn't a man-bashing post. And I won't just blame it all on the women either. I'm gonna sprinkle a little all around. Somehow we've forgotten to teach girls their true value. And we've forgotten, or cared less to teach boys the value of the women who carry them into this world.
And this is why, i say "Yes, if I had a teenage daughter, HELL YES I'd let her read Twilight." Of course, I would fully explain to her about the folklore of this imaginary species of vampires and werewolves, and that she better not be letting Dylan sink his teeth into her neck until she is at least 31, married, successful and deliriously in love, but I'd let her jump right into the story. Let het imagine herself for a few minutes as Bella, the girl who never quite felt like she fit in, who has a heart that cares for those she loves, who sacrifices her own sunny high school junior/senior year happiness to give her mom an opportunity to truly be loved and have a different life with a man she adores. Who looks after her father and makes sure he isn't completely alone. And of course, in doing this Bella stumbles(literally, cause she's real clumsy, another wonderful attribute for every insecure tween-teen girl to see) into her own destiny.
Not just in loving and being loved by a man, excuse me, by two gorgeous men, but in finding herself and her own journey. But yes, we can't forget about the love, that's why most people pick up those heavy books or pay 12 bucks to see it in theaters.
There's Edward... And Jacob... And each of them represent men who live and die by their loyalty to Bella.(and not just to her but also to their families as well). Edward beyond adores Bella, he cares for her, he protects her, challenges her, respects her, desires her. And what, pray-tell is so wrong with that?!!
Clearly, it's just a book. A work of fiction, and that should be made clear to any young adult reading or watching and hopefully is VERY clear to any adult who's checking it out( if not, there's some bigger issues than just the supposed hot mess-iness of twilight).
My point is... What's so wrong with encouraging our girls, and heck, ourselves ladies, to choose men who are loyal, who are chivalrous, who are respectful, who are HONORED by the sheer fact that you would glance their way, let alone, love them.
And yes who also think you are the sexiest, hottest thing to walk God's green earth.
Her answer, as is most people who have a staunch distaste/hatred for Twilight, was "No."
I responded with a very loaded "hmm". Then let it breathe for a minute. And then began to explain why I, a college educated(graduated with honors double major y'all!), driven, intelligent, subtely witty, black woman in her late twenties loves the series.
See, everyday I wake up and turn on my tv, or open up my web browser and hear that a woman has been murdered by her ex-boyfriend. That a woman is on trial for shooting her husband who abused her for over 18 years, that an angry, pissed off ex has taken his baby daughter from her mother, and tossed the small child over a bridge. Every day. If you dont believe me, I dare you to turn on your local news. Every day I hear young teenage girls on the subway quoting the most ridiculous, heinous, not even that clever lyrics to some misogynistic song by the latest, hottest musical act(who-might I add-is such a hot mess, that were it not for money and some gold or diamond studded teeth, could not even begin to pull even the most hot messiest of hood rats). I see movie posters of drunken, frat boy idiot characters smiling and winking with two half naked, Photoshop enhanced girls with their faces cut off in the margin clogging the subway tunnel walls. And I think to myself... "So this is it? This is who we are? This is what we're allowing our daughters, and sisters and mothers to think about themselves? This is what our "value" is? Nothing. Undeserving, a side-note, an object, a possession.
The thought of this massacres me. And yes, I'm well aware of how far we've come. And i think it's beyond brilliant. But it feels like we've missed something along the way. And I won't blame it all on the men, this isn't a man-bashing post. And I won't just blame it all on the women either. I'm gonna sprinkle a little all around. Somehow we've forgotten to teach girls their true value. And we've forgotten, or cared less to teach boys the value of the women who carry them into this world.
And this is why, i say "Yes, if I had a teenage daughter, HELL YES I'd let her read Twilight." Of course, I would fully explain to her about the folklore of this imaginary species of vampires and werewolves, and that she better not be letting Dylan sink his teeth into her neck until she is at least 31, married, successful and deliriously in love, but I'd let her jump right into the story. Let het imagine herself for a few minutes as Bella, the girl who never quite felt like she fit in, who has a heart that cares for those she loves, who sacrifices her own sunny high school junior/senior year happiness to give her mom an opportunity to truly be loved and have a different life with a man she adores. Who looks after her father and makes sure he isn't completely alone. And of course, in doing this Bella stumbles(literally, cause she's real clumsy, another wonderful attribute for every insecure tween-teen girl to see) into her own destiny.
Not just in loving and being loved by a man, excuse me, by two gorgeous men, but in finding herself and her own journey. But yes, we can't forget about the love, that's why most people pick up those heavy books or pay 12 bucks to see it in theaters.
There's Edward... And Jacob... And each of them represent men who live and die by their loyalty to Bella.(and not just to her but also to their families as well). Edward beyond adores Bella, he cares for her, he protects her, challenges her, respects her, desires her. And what, pray-tell is so wrong with that?!!
Clearly, it's just a book. A work of fiction, and that should be made clear to any young adult reading or watching and hopefully is VERY clear to any adult who's checking it out( if not, there's some bigger issues than just the supposed hot mess-iness of twilight).
My point is... What's so wrong with encouraging our girls, and heck, ourselves ladies, to choose men who are loyal, who are chivalrous, who are respectful, who are HONORED by the sheer fact that you would glance their way, let alone, love them.
And yes who also think you are the sexiest, hottest thing to walk God's green earth.
I gotta tell ya, I've been out with/dated/had my heartbroken by some duds, and I WILL be holding out and be on the look out for the best. And by best I don't mean perfect, I mean the best for me. A man who works every day to be a better man not just for himself but also for the woman he loves. A man who truly is a man, not some boy masquerading as a man.
I asked a friend of mine right before she recently married an amazing man "what made this relationship different than the others? How'd you know?"
And she answered with the most profound thing. She said "I dont know. He was just FOR me. I can't explain it any other way"
It was one of the most perfect explanations of true, reciprocated, passionate, love I've ever heard.
But within that "for"is a man who is by no means perfect, but cares for her in a way that only, truly a real MAN can. And that's something that seems to be falling more and more away from the boys/males/men we are building in this culture.
So I say... Go ahead...read Twilight, watch the movie 800 times, memorize each and every strange lip purse that Robert Pattinson does, put New Moon on pause right at the moment newly buff teen-wolf Jacob takes his shirt off for the first time.
Why not take a minute to remind ourselves(ladies) that we are worthy of goodness, that our value cannot be measured in jewelry, or clothes, or songs, or sexual prowess or by the men who flaunt us on their arms.
And dudes, why not take a minute to see if you posess/are putting those qualities out into the world. Are you showing your daughter, or son or brother or cousin what a woman's worth is?
And heck this goes both ways to the ladies as well! Are you putting out those qualities to men?
I asked a friend of mine right before she recently married an amazing man "what made this relationship different than the others? How'd you know?"
And she answered with the most profound thing. She said "I dont know. He was just FOR me. I can't explain it any other way"
It was one of the most perfect explanations of true, reciprocated, passionate, love I've ever heard.
But within that "for"is a man who is by no means perfect, but cares for her in a way that only, truly a real MAN can. And that's something that seems to be falling more and more away from the boys/males/men we are building in this culture.
So I say... Go ahead...read Twilight, watch the movie 800 times, memorize each and every strange lip purse that Robert Pattinson does, put New Moon on pause right at the moment newly buff teen-wolf Jacob takes his shirt off for the first time.
Why not take a minute to remind ourselves(ladies) that we are worthy of goodness, that our value cannot be measured in jewelry, or clothes, or songs, or sexual prowess or by the men who flaunt us on their arms.
And dudes, why not take a minute to see if you posess/are putting those qualities out into the world. Are you showing your daughter, or son or brother or cousin what a woman's worth is?
And heck this goes both ways to the ladies as well! Are you putting out those qualities to men?
As for me, I'll be at Loews 42nd St catching Breaking Dawn, making new friends with Destiny and Zoe who are skipping 3rd period English to see Edward break that headboard for the 15th time, and making flirty eyes with the cute guy in line buying popcorn with his little niece whom he has begrudgingly agreed to take to see this "crappy" movie to give his overworked, exhausted, 'stay at home mom' sister a much needed child-break. Why? Because I love Twilight. Because I love myself. And because it's just freakin fun!!! And hot boys in Seattle drizzly weather never hurts either!
hearts, imaginary teeth bites, and guitar riffs,
Ash
